To Be Near You
by kate04us
Summary: Just a pleasant Saturday - some shopping, lunch, a walk along the beach. Just friends having a good time. They might have known that it wouldn't be quite that easy...


**To Be Near You**

by Kate04

**A/N: **As always a big 'hug' and 'thank you' to **Robin** for her wonderful beta service. All remaining mistakes are mine. The characters, however, are not. Just playing with them.

**lontanissima** gets a hug, too. She came after me with her whip and provided her opinion whenever I needed it.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_I don't want to be near you for the thoughts we share but the words we never have to speak._

- Nikki Giovanni

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_I should have gone with him. _

It was her first thought when she opened the door to the small café and walked right into a hostage situation.

The bright overhead lights reflected off the barrel of the gun that was pointed at a tall man standing in the middle of the room. Her breath caught in her throat and she thought her heart might have stopped for a moment as she realised who that man was.

Long before her conscious mind had processed the details of the situation, her cop's instincts had taken over and she had dropped to her knees behind the closest bench, her own weapon in hand.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_The last weeks had been hell. The Chief had been after Taylor and the other Assistant Chiefs because of the ever-present budget crisis. Apparently, further cuts were necessary and to cope with his frustration, Taylor had shared it liberally with everyone under his command. _

_Sharon had been in three meetings in as many days, having been told that there was no money for overtime and that it was her responsibility to manage her team accordingly. Additionally, the use of special equipment and support by units like SIS and SOB would only be permitted if there was a very good reason – in writing. _

_As a result, she had spent endless hours going through three months worth of cases and writing detailed reports on why she thought overtime or additional equipment and manpower had been needed. It was a pointless waste of time and it had left her frustrated and short-tempered._

_Further contributing to her bad mood was the fact that Jack had finally responded to the divorce papers he had been served a while ago. As she had expected, he had not been thrilled. During the last three days, the few hours she had between getting home and finally passing out for the night had been spent arguing with her husband over the phone or conferring with her lawyer. _

_Last night, she had snapped at Rusty over something completely inconsequential. She had never done that before and the boy had been visibly confused by her unusual behaviour. She had not been in the mood to explain herself, even after he asked if she was alright. _

_Later, after he had retreated to his room, Sharon had felt bad for the way she had acted. She had been determined to apologise to him in the morning._

_When morning came, they had both been in too much of a hurry to talk much over breakfast. Rusty had been late for a meeting with his study group and Sharon had scheduled a trip to the mall with Andy. He needed a present for one of his grandsons and had asked her for some advice on ballet related items on the wish list. _

_It may have been a poor excuse to get her to agree to a lunch date, but Sharon hadn't minded in the least. _

_Before he rushed out of the door, Sharon had told Rusty to meet her and Andy at the small café close to his friends house after they were done. They would have some cake before heading home. _

_It wasn't quite the apology she thought she owed him, but his slight smile told her that she had been forgiven. _

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

From her cover, Sharon tried to assess the situation. The young man holding the gun stood behind the bar, not quite facing her. Andy was turned slightly away from the door, but she was sure that he had seen her come in out of the corner of his eye.

It looked like the gunman had been in the process of emptying the cash register when he had been interrupted. He looked nervous and had obviously noticed her entrance. His eyes darted back and forth between her and Andy, the hand holding the gun shaking alarmingly.

Sharon wasn't in a very good position. While she was quite safe behind the bench, she also didn't have a clear shot; Andy was partly blocking her line of sight. She could probably get a shot off, but it was pretty risky. She didn't like her odds.

"Hey, I saw you! Come out or I'll shoot the old dude!" His voice shook as much as his hand, but his obvious uncertainty didn't make Sharon feel any better. It only confirmed her impression of him being highly unstable and thus unpredictable. In the space of a few seconds, Sharon went through different scenarios in her head, weighing risks against benefits.

Her voice projected a calm she didn't feel. "LAPD – drop your gun and raise your hands over your head!"

Even from across the room she saw his eyes widen in shock, his body radiating even more tension than before.

"No way! I'm serious, lady. I'm going to shoot them. I won't let you arrest me."

Sharon cursed under her breath. He was about to panic. The situation would end in a catastrophe if she didn't get through to the young man soon.

"What do you think will happen if you shoot them? Currently, we've got you for armed robbery. Do you want to go down for killing a police officer?"

She had feared that he was too far gone to be reasoned with and his shrill voice and erratically waving gun proved her right.

"Shit! This wasn't supposed to happen." He ran his free hand through his hair, the short brown curls standing on end. "You won't arrest me! No one will arrest me! Do you hear me? No one! I'm serious, lady. I'll shoot him and then I'll shoot you and everything will be okay."

He adjusted his hold on the gun, gripping it even more firmly. He was about to do it.

Sharon's eyes flicked over to the hostage. She was seeking Andy's eyes. Their gazes met and an entire conversation took place in the space of a few seconds.

His nod was almost imperceptible, as was the soundless "sorry" her lips formed. Giving him one last, sad smile, Sharon focused on the source of their current predicament once again.

"This is your last warning. Drop your weapon and raise your hands or I'll shoot you in the head."

Sharon was fresh out of patience and it showed in her voice. The slight tremor she hoped wasn't noticeable to anyone else might also have been due to the knowledge that Rusty might walk in any moment. Slightly adjusting her aim, she waited for the space of two heartbeats.

The sound of a single shot rang through the small room, followed a second later by the dull thud of a body hitting the ground.

Then there was silence.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"_Sharon, are you alright?"_

_Walking along the beach beside him, Sharon contemplated his question. His voice was soft and his eyes full of concern. She didn't want to burden him with the dreary details of her personal life. The fact that the man she had once loved had turned into a belligerent addict was her very own problem._

_He let her think in peace for a while, the silence between them comfortable. When she finally started to speak, they both had their eyes fixed on the sand in front of them._

"_It's that budget madness. Chief Taylor is driving me crazy with all the reports he wants updated and the new regulations he wants put in place. I understand the necessity of saving money, but this is just insane. It's a huge addition to the workload and at the same time we're expected to cut back on overtime. It just doesn't add up."_

_Frustration was evident in her voice and her hands balled into fists in the pockets of her jacket. _

"_If I have to attend one more budget meeting this week, I won't be responsible for my actions."_

_Andy snorted, making his opinion of the entire bureaucratic side of their job quite clear. _

_They continued in silence for another few minutes. The soft wind provided a welcome relief from the oppressive heat of the day. Sharon enjoyed the feeling of sand between her toes, her shoes dangling from her fingers._

_Andy gently nudged her arm with his shoulder and turned his gaze towards her._

"_So, you wanna tell me what's really going on?"_

_She probably shouldn't have been surprised by the question. Andy was a very perceptive man, and of course he would know there was more going on. She just wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell him. He worked for her, after all, and talking about her marital problems with him was hardly appropriate._

"_No, not really."_

_Their eyes met briefly and they shared a chuckle as they both acknowledged the role reversal from a few months ago._

_Sharon studied his profile out of the corner of her eye. He looked straight ahead once again, giving her space and time to sort through her jumbled thoughts. _

_Over the last few months, Andy had become such a dear friend to her. He was one of the few people who understood and accepted her need for privacy and all those other quirks most people saw as flaws that needed to be eliminated – including her husband._

_That thought brought her back to his question. Did she want to tell him? He was probably the one person in her life who would truly understand all those mixed feelings that came with facing the end of a marriage, and she could trust him to keep whatever was said between them confident._

_And then there was the reason she was reluctant to contemplate at that moment. Friendship and trust were easy with him. They had come not too long after she had transferred to Major Crimes and had made their working relationship almost effortless. It was an unexpected and wonderful surprise to her based on all she'd ever known of his reputation prior. She never expected to have this man as an ally, much less a welcomed confidant._

_After a while, something else had sneaked up on her, though, and it was getting harder to ignore every day. Sharon was slowly reaching a point where she wondered why she even bothered._

"_I filed for divorce last week." In the end, the words were easier to say than she had thought and she felt better for finally saying them to somebody. _

_Andy acknowledged her words with a quiet hum, but didn't comment further. She appreciated the fact that he let her talk at her own pace without pressing for more information. He did, however, step a little closer to her, his arm brushing against hers in silent support._

"_Jack didn't take the news very well. He keeps calling, trying to talk me into changing my mind."_

_It was a highly edited version of what those late-night phone calls had been about, but as much as she trusted Andy, she did not want him to know all the disgusting details._

"_I think he's drinking again."_

_That admission had been hard, but she needed to get it off her chest, needed to start putting her own mental wellbeing over covering for her husband's shortcomings. It was one of those habits she needed to break._

"_I'm sorry, Sharon."_

_She nodded, her voice low as she talked past the lump in her throat._

"_I don't know how much more of this I can take, Andy. Between the budget mess at work and dealing with Jack and his temper when I get home I think I may lose my mind. I even snapped at Rusty last night without any reason. It's the last thing he needs after everything his mother put him through lately. He shouldn't have to put up with my moods on top of all that."_

"_You're right, he shouldn't, but we're all entitled to a few bad days – even you. No one can expect you to always be in control of everything you say or do. I know you hate to admit that, but it happens. I'm sure Rusty understands that, too. He's a smart kid and he knows you love him."_

_He was right; she hated not being in control of a situation or, even worse, of herself. _

"_I just want this to be over and done."_

"_I know and it will be soon. In the meantime, you can always talk to me. I'll be here."_

_Sharon stopped and turned towards him, one hand on his arm, the other coming to rest over his heart. She looked up, meeting his warm gaze when he, too turned. _

"_Thank you, Andy." She couldn't say any more, the words not getting past the lump in her throat. _

"_Maybe you should take a few days off. You haven't had more than two days in a row ever since you took over Major Crimes. Pack the kid and a few good books, turn off your phone and go someplace quiet. Get away from all the craziness for a little while."_

_Sharon almost groaned at the thought, a small smile tugging at her lips._

"_That does sound heavenly. You know, maybe I will."_

_They gazed at each other in silence and Sharon marveled at the closeness that had developed between them lately. _

_The wind blowing her hair into her face distracted her. Before she could do anything about it, she felt Andy's fingers touch her cheek, gently brushing her hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes as he let them trail along her ear and down her neck, making her shiver at the sensation. _

_He let his hand rest against the side of her neck, his thumb drawing lazy circles against a particularly sensitive spot._

_They moved simultaneously, her hand shifting from his chest to cup his cheek, her eyes opening to meet his once again, as he took a step closer and leaned down towards her. _

_The first touch of their lips was soft, barely there, almost hesitant. Sharon let her eyes drift shut and let the warmth of his body and his wonderful scent wash over her._

_With a groan, Andy pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. His tongue brushed over her lips, teasing until she opened them, letting her own tongue meet his. She moaned, feeling the effect he had on her all the way down to her toes. _

_When the need for air became overwhelming, they slowly, reluctantly drew out of the kiss. His lips traveled along her cheek, nibbling at her ear and that secret spot right behind it, before they moved down the side of her neck._

_Sharon was shivering, her knees weak with want for this man. With a final lingering kiss, he drew away slightly, keeping his hands on her hips._

_She took a shuddering breath before she opened her eyes again. Her cheeks were warm, her insides were still quivering and she didn't know what to say. She settled for a smile. It might have been a little wobbly, but it was all she could manage at that moment. This had taken her completely by surprise. It wasn't unwelcome, she decided. Not at all, in fact. It was damn complicated, though and she wasn't sure where they would go from there._

_She needed time to think about everything. They were supposed to meet with Rusty in less than an hour, but Sharon needed a moment alone. She caressed his lips with her thumb, enjoying the darkening of his eyes. _

"_Andy, could you go ahead and get us a table? I'll join you in a bit. I – I could use a moment here."_

_He gave her a penetrating look before he nodded. _

"_Okay. Will you be alright?"_

_She nodded, tugging him down slightly to brush her lips over his tenderly. _

"_Yes, don't worry. I'll join you in a moment. Just need to sort through some things in my head. I won't be long."_

_Andy cupped her face between his hands and gave her another lingering kiss before he let his fingers trail down her arms and walked away._

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Time seemed to stop for a long moment, the sound of the shot still ringing in her ears. Sharon suppressed the urge to close her eyes immediately after firing. Before she could get herself to move, Andy was already walking around the counter, his own weapon drawn. She heard the clatter of metal against the floor as he kicked the gun out of the young man's hand before he crouched down next to him.

Sharon made her way towards Andy, dreading what she would find behind the counter. He knelt beside the hostage-taker and pressed a towel against his shoulder, looking up when he heard her approach.

"Looks like your aim was a little off, Captain. You got him in the shoulder, not the head." His wry smile told her that the man would probably be alright and she relaxed slightly.

"Lieutenant, I assure you if I had been aiming for the head, you wouldn't have to bother with that towel now."

The moment the words had left her mouth, Sharon cringed. She didn't care much for the crude humour so many cops shared and she very rarely indulged that side of herself.

A few feet from her, Sharon saw movement on the floor. Her first instinct was to draw her gun again, but she realised that the movement came from a bound and gagged elderly man, who looked like he worked there.

She moved around Andy, her hand lightly brushing along his shoulders as she walked past him towards the other end of the counter. She loosened the knot on the gag and the rope around the old man's wrists, checking him for any injuries. He appeared to be unharmed and confirmed that impression when she asked him.

When a paramedic crouched down next to her, Sharon stood up and made room for him to do his job. She turned towards Andy and the man she had shot, relief washing over her as she saw the other medic taking care of the wound. He didn't look overly concerned.

Andy stood to the side, staring at her, his expression hard to read and his face pale. Another man's blood stained his hands and cheek, giving him an almost ghost-like appearance.

Without thinking about it, Sharon took a few paper towels off the counter, held them under water for a second and walked over to him. She took one of his hands in hers and gently wiped away the blood, before she moved on to the other one. Her own hands were shaking and she was glad to have something to keep them busy.

This small contact was not even close to sufficient. Sharon had a hard time suppressing the burning need to hold him close. She needed to feel his warmth against her, listen to the strong beat of his heart. She needed to feel his arms around her, his lips on hers. She needed to feel him alive and vibrant, an affirmation of life that only physical closeness can bring.

Not being able to do any of those things hurt more than she thought possible, but there were already several patrol officers at the scene and Sharon knew that it wouldn't be long before someone from FID would arrive.

She might have been their boss a few years ago and she might have trained most of them herself, but being caught by any one of them in any position that could suggest a relationship that went beyond the purely professional would still have dire consequences.

It would be hard to explain that this was such a recent development that they hadn't had a chance to inform anyone yet. The fact that she had just shot a man who had threatened Andy did not make the situation any less complicated. She knew what these things looked like to someone who hadn't been there. She had been that someone more times than she cared to remember.

When his hands were as clean as a wet tissue could get them, Sharon closed her fingers around his. They were cold. So were hers. Her eyes found his and she almost gasped at the raw emotions she saw, emotions he could probably see reflected in her own gaze.

Her arms twitched with the need to wrap them around him. She let go of one of his hands and, finding a reasonable clean part of the wet paper towel, Sharon gently wiped at the red smudge on Andy's cheek. She let her hand linger for a moment after she was done, her thumb brushing over his skin.

A shudder ran down her spine as she thought how close they had come to this being his blood, to it being his body lying on the floor, an ever-growing pool of crimson underneath him. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, things she was too scared to say earlier at the beach. She hadn't been quite ready then and now that she was, they had no time for those words.

Closing her eyes for a brief moment, Sharon took a deep breath before she spoke.

"Andy, I…"

The commotion outside drew them out of their little bubble. The snarky comments from several patrol officers announced the arrival of FID and with a final caress of his cheek Sharon dropped her hands and stepped away from him. Her eyes held his for a moment longer, her words barely audible.

"Later."

The tone of her voice and the expression on her face conveyed much more than just that one word.

Later they would talk about what had happened in the café. Later they would talk about what had happened at the beach, about their kiss and what it might mean. Later there would be time and privacy for that desperate need for touch they both felt.

This time, the shudder that ran down her spine wasn't altogether unpleasant. Giving Andy one last nod and a tiny smile, Sharon walked out of the café, towards the not entirely good-natured teasing to face the music. She wanted to get out of there as fast as possible and this time she wouldn't let Andy go without her.


End file.
